Breath of life

Day two of the Purpose Driven Life book today. It has given me loads more to think about and I hope for those of you reading it, that it has already done the same to you.

I started this book in October 2003 but only got to day 13 and then stopped. Some books are so challenging that you know that continuing to read them will mean you have to change and sometimes it is really difficult to face that. I hope this time to complete it.

The phrase 'breath of life' has been close to me since God gave me the song 'thank you' back in March last year. We are here right now breathing on earth because God sustains us and wants us to be here, which must mean He has something more planned for us to do.

A couple of months ago I really learnt how we should not take breathing for granted. I had been told a while back that it is likely that I have asthma, but I never got diagnosed properly and I never really understood the seriousness of it, so didn't make an effort to take any inhalers.

I continued living and managed to continue as normal, but not realising that actually I was not living as well as I could be -I was used to having much less air in each breath then I should have, so I just coped. But then people started to tell me I was sounding wheezy when I was just talking normally and I was named mutley. Anytime I laughed, I would be out of breath and I laugh a lot, so this became common. Walking out in the cold for a minute would leave me wheezy and even talking on the telephone for a length of time.

I realised how little air was in my lungs first thing in the morning, when I could not let anyone speak to me for at least half an hour. Why? Well cause I could not reply, as I needed to save my breath and try and catch up a bit first. Going to bed was awful as as soon as I lay down I could hear my lungs struggling. To solve this I would put headphones on and try and block out the sound of my breathing so that I wouldn't hear it and get even tighter in the chest.

I eventually made an appointment last autumn and went again to be assessed. For my age and height I'm supposed to be at least 480 for my peak flow rate and even more than that as I sing regularly, but I am only 270ish. I got told off for not getting checked sooner and I'm now on a strong orange inhaler 4 times a day. The difference has been amazing. The daily tightness in my chest has gone and my lungs and airways are slowing improving. I will soon nopefully be down to maintenance level.

I'm sure Satan loves to attack us where it can hurt the most. For singers that has to be the lungs and airways. My mum suffered with a serious lung disease for many years and it has left her with bad asthma. Whatever Satan does God still manages to give us both breath when we sing! It's like the supply comes from a completely different source as God gives as the breath we need to produce a powerful sound!

Thank you Lord for breathing your breath of life in me.